A Promise...

Wow, it has been over a week since I last wrote anything.  I am not sure if that is because nothing is happening, I have nothing to say, or because I don't have time.  I would like to think that I have been so busy that I just don't have the time, but honestly that certainly is not the case.  I would also like to think that it is because I have nothing to say, well as many of you, who know me, know that certainly is not the case either.  I could even go as far as saying nothing worth while has happened or is happening, that would be more truthful then anything else, but having two active boys that is not the case either.  I will have to blame this completely on the fact that I have become lazy, and just plain bored.  This is certainly a problem, but not so much of a problem, because it gives me a chance to actually think about the things that have happened over the course of a month and a half and even longer.  God is truly a God who keeps his promises even if it seems like those promises were made many years ago. 

About 4 years ago my husband Chris lost his job at the school he had been teaching at since the very first day the school opened in 2001.  Prior to him losing his job, I hit rock bottom, and just took a dive into a pit of darkness that even to this day I can not explain what set that downward spin into motion.  Everything seemed to be going well.  But something happened, and triggered a time of confusion, chaos, and just plain simply a time when I was not sure who I was any longer.  So my marriage suffered greatly, and so did my boys.  To make a long story short, my husband began seeking help with our pastor, and that in turn turned into his helping us get to an extensive 5 day marriage counseling session at The Ranch of Hope.  With lots of time spent with our pastor counseling us, and believing that God had/has great things for us our pastor began to walk through the fire with us, and through one of the darkest periods of time in my life.  If it were not for our pastors active roll he took in our marriage, through praying, answering the many tiresome phone calls no matter the time of day, counseling, encouraging words and whatever it was we needed at the time, I honestly can say that my marriage would not have survived.  Needless to say it was a long hard road, with many twist and turns.  It was during this time that I was encouraged to seek medical treatment, and which my pastor and his wife stood by me to ensure that I had the support that I needed in order for me to do what it was that I needed to do.  I will be forever grateful for them and the sacrifice they made for my marriage and my family.  I will never totally understand all they did for me and why they did it, but they will always mean so very much to me.

God promises us that he will never allow us to go through difficulties that we can not handle.  I don't know about you but 4 years of unemployment/under-employment is certainly more then what I could have ever imagined I would have to go through.  A year or more of walking through hell in a marriage where you can't even look at each other, let alone talk to each, and wonder every day why we just don't go our seperate ways.  During that time God promised us that he would not let us break, that he was going to bless us more then we could ever imagine.  That his purpose was being fullfilled, even though we could not see his hand.  God was there.  Even though we wanted to quit, our pastor encouraged us to hang in there.  Even though we wanted to walk away, our pastor encouraged us to take hold of each other.  God used our pastor, for that time.  I don't think there could ever be another pastor who would be willing to walk through what he walked through because he saw what God was doing.  Do we know yet why God allowed us to walk where we walked...no.  Do we understand yet why God allowed for me to go through the darkest time in my life...no.  But God promised us our reward would be great, that he would be using what we went through as a couple and as individuals to bring him the glory.  I believe that God is beginning to unfold that promise. 

God allows for bad things to happen to us, not because he wants to punish us.  But because sometimes that is the only way he can get our attention.  As our pastor would say, sometimes God has to use a 2x4 to knock us up side the head.  Do I think we had to be hit upset the head...yes on many occasions.   I do believe however that God's mercy is poured out on us, and is still being poured out on us.  God promised us that the trials we went through would bring him glory.  There is no other way to bring him glory except by telling others about Christ, and what God did for us!  God took a marriage that was completely broken and in mans eyes not even worth fighting for, and placed people in our lives that believed in our marriage, believed that God could heal our marriage and stood by us and held up our arms when we could no longer go on.  Because of the sacrifice of a few who stood by us, they are able to see the promise of God unfolding, and are reaping the blessings as well.

We have not finished the race, and our goal has not been reached.  God will continue to pour out his blessings, as we continue to seek him.  We are in the process of transition, we are looking for a church where God will be able to use us, and allow us to share what He did in each of us, in our marriage and in our family.    God's promise is a never ending promise.  As long as we continue to be open to his calling he will be faithful to fulfill all of his promises.

Dear Father:
As we begin the process of understanding your will for our lives, my prayer is that whatever we do to share what you did in our lives, our marriage and our family that we will use it to bring you all the glory.  For nothing matters unless it brings you glory.  My desire is to know you more, and to be used by you.  My desire is that my life will be a reflection of your love for all of us.  May everything I say and do, bring you honor and glory.
Amen